


Some Deep, Repressed Part

by rhodrymavelyne



Category: Angel - Fandom, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 16:35:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4186995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhodrymavelyne/pseuds/rhodrymavelyne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a dream, Angel and Xander meet and confess to things they'd never said to each other out loud.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Deep, Repressed Part

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after the series 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' ends, but before any of the comics taking place afterwards start.

His eyes were wide, dark, huge with vulnerability and pain. How delicate and fragile Xander Harris seemed in a way boys never wanted to be.

“Xander,” Angel murmured, as his hand reached out to touch the boy, no, the young man’s face.

Xander shivered, but he didn’t pull away. “This is a dream,” he murmured. “Some deep, repressed part of me I’ve locked away.”

“It could have been you at my side, instead of Cordelia,” Angel admitted, as he looked at a possible past that had never happened, clear as the view from a window in dreams. The events that could have enfolded in L.A., if Xander had arrived there and Cordelia hadn’t, or even if both of them had.

“It wasn’t, so you ended up falling in love with Cordelia,” Xander said. His eyes were wet. “She ended up being the one who left Buffy and died. Instead of me.”

Angel didn’t say anything, just pulled the weeping young man into his arms. Xander sagged against the vampire, limp with grief. “They keep dying, the ones I love. They die and I lose them...” His voice was lost in the sobs that shook his entire body.

“I know,” Angel whispered into the boy’s dark hair. His own pain seemed to rise and mingle with Xander’s. The demon within hissed with thwarted hunger. “Believe me, I know.”

Angel awoke, the taste of Xander still lingering in his hands and nose. Wherever he was, Xander would be awakening with a raging hard on. It had been a long time since Angel had thought of the boy who’d once been his greatest rival for Buffy’s affections. In the end, both Xander and himself had lost her. Angel wondered what he was doing now. The demon hissed again, hungry and nostalgic. Xander had been a favorite of Angelus’. He missed torturing the boy. Angel growled and rolled out of bed. It was time to try and quiet the demon with some bottled blood, not that the bottle ever satisfied him.


End file.
